Events | 2008.10.24
Hugh Muir's Diary
If recession is our fate, as Gordon Brown and the Bank of England\'s governor Mervyn King now believe, then we will just have to learn to cope with it. Live more frugally. Take our pleasures where we can. The credit crunch has hit the Republic of Ireland too, but last week, as the edifices of the financial world continued to crumble, a trendy Dublin nightspot was filled with Bank of Ireland staff on a jolly. And the theme? Casino. They spent the entire night gambling. Eyebrows will be raised, of course; but we say, that\'s the spirit. Ching, ching, ching. Spend, spend, spend.
• More questions yesterday about the judgment of George Osborne. Why did he hang around to discuss money with Deripaska? Why did he gossip about Nat Rothschild\'s private party? Why indeed, he may now reflect, did he go to Taverna Agni, the restaurant in north-eastern Corfu? It\'s speciality is deep-fried "hard cheese".
• But then it has been an inexorable rise for the shadow chancellor. A hero for the suits and the blue rinses. Much feted, much in demand. His office has of late been fobbing off those who would spend time with him via a prepared email. "Regretfully Mr Osborne is unable to accept as he is already committed on that date," it says. "His diary is under increasing pressure, so he is not able to take part in as many events as he would like." There will, of course, be considerably less pressure on his time now he has been exposed to all as a high society blabbermouth. Weddings, bar mitzvahs, stag dos. Just ask. He\'ll come.
• Leave it a week or so, however, because things are obviously bad just now. The kennel door swung open late afternoon. Someone unleashed Tebbit. "If you sleep with dogs, you are likely to get fleas," he said of the shadow chancellor on News 24; but soon he was back in the old routine, baring his teeth at the socialists. He is as much gum as dentures these days, but all the same it might pay Denis MacShane to seek out a tetanus jab. He could outrun the old boy, but there\'s a risk.
• While the controversy unfolds, we find that joy is unconfined on the Labour benches, and on further inquiry we learn more about why Tony McNulty, the employment minister, is still the government\'s go-to guy whenever there is a problem. Unemployment is higher than it has been in a decade and likely to rise higher, and so we take heart from the fact that the MP, according to his Facebook entry, has recently completed the online quiz: "How do you handle awkward situations you cannot fix?" He has been six years as a minister, but still he seeks to learn, improve his skills. He is leading by example. Admirable.
• As is John McCain, in many ways, but for all that his poll numbers are slipping. The Republicans are worried, as are evangelicals at the inJesus online community. They have been looking into this, and think they have found out why. "Witches, warlocks and those involved in satanism and the occult get up daily at 3am to release curses against McCain and Palin so B Hussein Obama is elected," they report, with some agitation. The answer is simple. "If you know how to do spiritual warfare, please pray today and continually that all such curses be broken. If you do not know how to do spiritual warfare, it is time you learn!!!"
• And finally, one can see why Portsmouth FC is schooling its foreign players in touchline English, with 16 imports in a squad of 28 and a manager for whom cockney is the mother tongue. They learn that "open your minces" means "open your eyes", but the process is never immediate. "There\'s no point teaching \'my uncle\'s pen is in your auntie\'s bureau\'," says the man in charge of the tuition, when what is required are phrases such as "on me \'ead". Faced with a similar barrier to understanding, CNN International has taken to running its interviews with Celtic\'s Edinburgh-born manager Gordon Strachan accompanied by subtitles. It means the viewers know what he\'s saying, even when his players don\'t have a clue.
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