Events | 2009.05.30
The final
Tears, jeers, cheers...and Simon Cowell. It\'s time for the Britain\'s Got Talent final - can anyone stop Susan Boyle?
Watch video clips of the Britain\'s Got Talent finalists
Read more on Susan Boyle and Britain\'s Got Talent
Join Carrie from 6.30pm for the BGT final and then later for the results show.
6.30pm: Good evening, everybody! What a lovely day it\'s been in Britain. Who\'ll be bringing sunshine into our lives tonight with their Talent? Will you be voting?
6.43pm: The countdown begins - this is the first of all the myriad ad breaks we\'ll have over the next three and a bit hours. Two minutes until portentous Ant and Dec introduction.
6.47pm: Dec claims (for the billionth time this series) that BGT has taken over the world. There\'s the inevitable montage of good acts, bad acts and mad acts, with judges\' hyperbole. Now it all comes down to THIS moment. Or at least the moment in three hours when we get the result. Our finalists - Flawless, Shaheen, Aidan, 2 Grand, Hollie Steel, Stravros Flatley, Shaun, Susan Boyle (she needs both names, obviously), Diversity, and Julian. The world is watching! Roll titles!
6.52pm: Ant and Dec, in sober black suits and ties as usual, welcome us to the show. Thousands of auditions and five semi-finals have led us to this - ten acts in tonight\'s final. First, though, we must meet the judges. Amanda is channelling Katherine Jenkins at her most overblown and ridiculous - Forties-style Hollywood hair, and a low-cut sheath red dress with what looks like a mesh-netting tail. Ant tells her she looks gorgeous. I am fairly sure there will be a wardrobe malfunction at some point tonight. Simon reckons he will be keeping his mouth shut - and we\'re reminded that the judges can still buzz an act off. Interestingly, Dec painstakingly reminds us that every single act gets ONE CHANCE and ONE CHANCE ONLY - no matter how much you cry and whine, or if you get your mum to complain on your behalf.
6.57pm: Flawless are our first act of the evening. Lots of talk about their competition with Diversity. Not a lot more is said. There is a car on stage. For some reason this staging is reminding me a bit of Guys and Dolls - the boys are in suits and hats, and there\'s a crouching down bit where I think they\'re going to start rolling dice. They don\'t. Instead, they start a routine to a medley - Wanna Be Startin\' Something, Smooth Criminal, I Feel Good (a bit random, but I\'ll let that go). There is a head-spin breakdancing bit. And OK, that was terrific - a hella lot better than their audition, where they seemed to front up their lead dancer and stack the rest of them behind him. Good stuff. The judges are on their feet. Amanda is proud to be British.
7.05pm: Next up - Shaheen Jafargholi. We\'re reminded of his cringingly staged audition, and Simon says it is an example of how one song can change everything. His song choice for tonight is Who\'s Lovin\' You - and his voice is still incredible, though the big, powerful, soulful doesn\'t match with the way he looks with his cute kid cheeks and dimples at all. His diction could perhaps be improved but then maybe I am being slightly mean-spirited. The judges are on their feet again. Amanda patronises him a bit about being 12. Simon claims to have been mulling over whether children should be in the show, and says he concludes that if someone is talented enough and can cope, they should be given their chance. Shaheen says that he enjoys the show more with every round and thanks everyone.
7.06pm: Ad break. Well, they were certainly good acts to start with.
7.17pm: Guardian system just logged me out.
7.18pm: OK, our third act was Aidan, who suffered from some dreadful camerawork and an appallingly misjudged comment from Amanda about "the birds" lined up for him. Simon said he wasn\'t as good as last night, leading to tears, providing more ammunition for those who think children are ill equipped to cope with the rigours of criticism on this show.
7.23pm: Fourth act is 2 Grand. Grandad reminisces about how sad he has been since his wife died; granddaughter says she is too shy to sing without him. They perform A Whole New World - he makes quite a few mistakes, but she is genuinely very good, despite wearing a dress apparently made from the offcuts of Amanda\'s ghastly frock. Simon says that they\'re an act that people want to do well, that they suffered from nerves and Sally saved it; basically he says they are nice people, they\'ve done well to get this far, and they won\'t be disappointed to lose because frankly they can\'t be expected to win. Grandad reminds us again how sad he was before Britain\'s Got Talent. I want to be shocked and disgusted about the emotional blackmail, like I would be with The X-Factor, but I can\'t - he seems like such a nice man.
7.26pm: We\'re in an ad break, by the way. I\'m just posting now to ensure that I\'m still logged in.
7.28pm: Oh, holy Mother, it\'s Hollie Steel. I\'m scared to watch.
7.33pm: Hollie\'s mum says her heart sank last night when her daughter fell apart - because she saw her chance to become the next Maria Church (pre-Jonathan Shalit, obviously) slipping away? Anyway, she is singing Wishing You Were Somewhere Here Again from Phantom, and she seems terrified - no wonder. Lots of poor breathing and big gulpy swallows. Her voice cracks in the last verse - not sure if it\'s suppressed sobs or simply not being able to hit the notes. The judges stand up. Her new best friend Dec gives her a hug. I love Dec.
7.41pm: Next up - Stavros Flatley. They are one of Simon\'s "favourite ever dance acts", they are "rubbish but brilliant", and Amanda loves loves loves loves loves them. They\'re in leather trousers and red paso jackets and dancing to Lord of the Dance. Then a whole troupe of Irish dancers come on, and as the music speeds up, so does the cod-Irish dancing. The wigs are off, and the judges are on their feet AGAIN. The dad commandeers the mic to ask his wife if she pressed record on the video. Heh. Amanda says that she is trapped in her stupid ugly tight dress, but if she could get out of her chair she would go to the stage and kiss them both. Then she urges everyone to vote for them. Simon calls it "genius" - "I\'d rather watch you two than Michael Flatley any day."
7.45pm: OK, favourites so far?
7.52pm: If you\'re struggling for a drinking game, down a shot for every time we hear the words "the Queen" or "Royal Variety Performance". I hate when UK shows think they\'re American and feel they have to remind us of the entire point of the programme every two minutes. Next is pretty teenage singer Shaun Smith, anyway, and he reckons he HAS to pursue this as a career. He sings Ain\'t No Sunshine again. He shows impressive breath control, and I like the tone of his voice, but I\'m not keen on the over-vibrato at points. Still, perfectly serviceable. He should be in a boy band. I mean that in a good way. He beams adorably at the end, and says how much fun he\'s had. Simon says it was the performance of his life, and notes that he can sing and looks nice on camera, which as we know is the most important thing for a musician. Amanda makes her second utterly inappropriate comment of the night by calling the 17-year-old boy "sexy".
7.53pm: Susan Boyle!
7.54pm: If people keep calling Susan Boyle a "spinster" in a horrible patronising way like it is the WORST MOST EMBARRASSING THING that could EVER HAPPEN TO ANYONE, I am going to go on a rampage.
8pm: She sings I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables, as she did so famously in the first audition. Does anyone know if she\'s had singing lessons in between then and now? She\'s definitely got the vibrato more under control. She gets half a beat out just after the key change and it\'s ongoing intermittently until the end, but nobody seems to notice. Oh, and Amanda\'s lips are wobbling! Everyone stands up. Susan thanks everyone for their support, and says she feels at home on stage because she is among friends. Amanda admires her "powerful, confident vocals", and reveals that Simon had a tear in his eye. The man himself starts talking about people saying that she shouldn\'t be in the competition because she\'s not equipped to deal with it, and declares that she has beaten her critics and can walk away, win or lose, with her head held high.
8.11pm: More nice dancing boys - Diversity. Their routine seems to be some kind of narrative on the BGT experience - they do a bit with the buzzes and Xs; one of the little boys is Superman; the other little one does acrobatics; and it\'s all very sharp and impressive. The judges - shockingly - stand to applaud. Ant asks the lead choreographer where he gets all his ideas from - "I was blessed," comes the answer. Amanda says they\'ve blown Flawless out of the water and is booed roundly. Simon says if he was marking the acts, this would be the only one so far that would get a 10.
8.19pm: And finally Julian Smith, the man with the saxophone. He is happy that people believe in him and have voted him through. His VT has sad music over it because he has been a loser his whole life and now FINALLY he is within reach of his dream. Or at least that\'s what the programme is telling us. He too plays his audition piece - Somewhere from West Side Story (the music choices tonight are mostly right up my street). Julian looks all urban and tough and street with his hat and jacket and combats and stubble and bling, and there he is playing showtunes on his sax. It\'s most anomalous. The judges give him a standing ovation. Simon says he has every shot and wishes him luck. Amanda thinks that he will have a career. She doesn\'t say as WHAT, mind. Julian gives us the flannel about how he didn\'t have much time to practise, not mentioning the fact that he\'s played the sax for a billion years (like he said in his VT) or that he did the same piece in his audition.
8.22pm: The lines are open, and so here\'s a recap - Flawless and their Brando-esque hats; Shaheen and his soulful cadenzas; Aidan and his conveyor belt; 2 Grand and their Disney song; Hollie and her budgie-like chirping half an octave too high for her, but no tears; Stavros Flatley being the Lords of the Dance; Shaun being lusted over by Amanda; Susan Boyle dreaming her dream; Diversity and acrobatic Superman; Julian hoping there is a Place For Him at the Royal Variety.
So - are you going to pick up the phone and vote?
8.25pm: Ooh - ad for next year\'s BGT competition. Right, I want ALL of us to enter. Post in the comments what your special talent would be. Try to keep it clean. Although - sod it - if people can get through to the semi-finals by flashing their nipples then I don\'t suppose it matters all that much.
You\'ve got an hour to refine your application - I\'ll be back at 9.30pm for the results show.
9.28pm: Hello, everybody, and welcome back for the results show. Glad to see you\'ve been contemplating your own very special talents with which to wow Amanda Holden next year. I\'ve not quite decided what I want to do yet but I feel sure that I will be able to weep on cue and thus connive a cuddle from Dec.
9.33pm: Earlier tonight! Ten acts gave their all! But who will win and thus perform for the Queen? Cue titles!
9.34pm: Oh. They\'re going to recap the acts again. You know what happened. There\'s still time to vote if you want.
9.38pm: We still have time to hear more inanities from the judges. Amanda calls it a world-class show. Ant says that any of them would have been worthy winners, and Simon corrects him - "five or six". Ha.
9.41pm: Montage of "funny" auditions - including the man who wanted to break the record for eating Ferrero Rochers, and was beaten by Ant in the wings; and the man who blew up hot water bottles. Montage of finalists in their auditions, with shots of Simon and Amanda beaming, and briefly a shot of Kelly Brook looking beautiful and clapping.
9.42pm: Apparently Andrew Flintoff wants to book Stavros Flatley for his next charity event. But, @mikos, good point - which other cricketers will be watching Britain\'s Got Talent along with us? I wouldn\'t put it past Kevin Pietersen, to be honest - his form definitely suffered when he couldn\'t be rinkside to cheer on Jess during Dancing on Ice. Stuart Broad won\'t be watching, though, it\'s probably past his bedtime. Bless him.
9.46pm: THE LINES ARE CLOSED, PEOPLE!
9.50pm: Flawless cannot explain how much it would mean to dance for the Queen. Shaheen says it would be the biggest thing he\'s ever done. Aidan says it is crazy. Grandad 2 Grand says he served in the Queen\'s Regiment in 1951. Hollie says she would be honoured and wants to make the Queen\'s heart melt. Stavros Flatley say it would mean everything. Shaun says the Royal Variety is the pinnacle of everyone\'s career. Susan Boyle says it\'s something she never dreamed of. Diversity says it would be an amazing experience. Julian says it would be an unbelievable achievement. It\'s a shame nobody\'s confessed any republican tendencies. That would be funny.
9.52pm: Ant and Dec welcome all the acts back to the stage. And this is the moment we\'ve all been waiting for - the results are in. The top three, in no particular order, are - Susan Boyle (of course - who starts wandering around the stage for the rest of this segment), Julian Smith (seriously?!), and Diversity.
9.53pm: In third place - Julian Smith.
9.54pm: SO. The winner of Britain\'s Got Talent 2009 (and the act who will perform for THE QUEEN, in case you didn\'t know) is Diversity !
9.56pm: Dec clutches Susan Boyle\'s hand. She says that the best people won, which is very nice. All the boys from Diversity seem to want to go to hug her, but she does a little whirly dance instead as Dec enthuses about her Journey (drink!).
9.57pm: Diversity seem totally shellshocked and none of them can string a sentence together, though they manage to spit out their thanks to the voting public. They have to pull themselves together to perform one more time to close the show.
9.59pm: Ooh. The dance turned into the Crystal Dome at the end, for some reason, with all sorts of metallic paper tokens flying everywhere. Ant and Dec thank the judges, all the acts, and all the viewers, and they\'ll see us all again soon!
10pm: Right, that\'s your lot. A variable final (and a variable series, to be honest) but decent winners, I think we\'re agreed. Congratulations to Diversity and all the finalists. Thanks for your company tonight - don\'t forget to join Anna on Wednesday for The Apprentice final five! Goodnight!
For more information, please visit
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/organgri[...]may/30/britains-got-talent-itv
