Events | 2009.09.27
Hugh Muir's Diary
There can only be room for one man at the top of the Met. We still don\'t know who it is
I am the captain of this ship, declared Sir Paul Stephenson , Britain\'s top cop, responding to boasts from Boris\'s team that they have their " hands on the tiller " at Scotland Yard. "Anybody who knows anything about sailing knows that tillers only go on very small boats. If you have got a big boat or a supertanker, you have a bridge and a captain. I am very clear who\'s the captain and I know where the bridge is." Very robust from the man at the top … or at the front. Very clear. But not clear enough for some, perhaps, for just two days later, what is this we see? Kit Malthouse , carrier of Boris\'s truncheon and the man who claimed the Tories have control of the Met, now briefing friendly ears about Sir Paul\'s spending plans. The result: a hair-raising newspaper report predicting that budget cuts will mean the axe for 400 uniformed custody officers. "That isn\'t our figure," the Met tells us. "And we are not talking about officers being axed. Officers will be redeployed." Power struggle? Mischief? What\'s happening? You decide. But please; just one captain at a time.
What else have the Tories in London been up to while Boris has been in New York? Well, yesterday, three of his elected friends at City Hall raised merry hell about the speakers scheduled to hold forth at an environmental conference, because no fully certified climate-change deniers have been invited. "We need to concentrate efforts to slash carbon emissions and become more energy-efficient in order to prevent dangerous climate change," Johnson said last year. But they don\'t care about that really, and this is what the mayor has to contend with every day. Why going abroad seems so attractive.
Lots of Harriet this week, and as we learn that she neglected to mention Margaret Thatcher when listing the achievements of women in politics, we find we rather like her. We agree that if you can\'t say anything nice about someone, best to say nothing at all. But there is cause for concern with Harriet\'s web presence, because we learn (thanks to dizzythinks.net ) that if you click on harrietharman.org and harrietharman.org.uk , you do indeed see the Labour deputy leader. By contrast, harrietharman.com is up for sale, and if you go to harrietharman.co.uk all you get is a rather smug-looking picture of the Liberal Democrat Chris Huhne . Strange and a bit unnerving.
There\'s still no clear word about who will represent Labour when Nick Griffin appears on Question Time . It will be a minister we all know, but should it be? Isn\'t that to accord the far-righter too much importance? Why not a feisty backbencher? Some say Bob Marshall-Andrews (pictured) . He is a witty and aggressive QC who, sadly, stumbles across avowedly racist types occasionally in his constituency. "In that case I forbid you to vote for me," he tells them plainly. And they don\'t. He gets elected anyway. Everybody wins.
Finally, be afraid – be very afraid: for those who fail to do their bit for society are about to be unmasked. Named and shamed. The accuser will be Lord Archer . "On to Devonshire Terrace in the city to conduct the auction for Raft (Restoration of Appearance and Function Trust), a medical charity working in the fields of burns, accidents and disfiguring injuries," he blogs. "The best auction lot was a trip to Finland to spend a day driving with the world rally champion, Mikko Hirvonen , and learn what it\'s like to handle a car at breakneck speeds. The item went for £17,000 and overall, the auction raised £100,000 for this very worthwhile charity, headed up by a colleague from the House of Lords, the Earl Howe." But don\'t get comfy. "Funny how I keep seeing the same people at charity events again and again," he says menacingly. "Who give of their time and their money, while others just never seem to appear. Perhaps the time has come for me to name names. Let\'s start with..." And there it ends, but we hope he is serious. Go, Jeffrey. Out them! Out them! Dish the dirt!
For more information, please visit
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/sep/18/diary-police-boris-johnson
