Events | 2009.12.28
Hugh Muir's diary
Why fear Ahmadinejad and Iran\'s nuclear plans. Isn\'t there enough to worry about here?
• How to react to this motion, laid before the Scottish parliament and calling on the Scottish Environment Protection Agency "to fully investigate the circumstances surrounding the reappearance of part of the 170kg of enriched uranium that was first reported as being lost and then reported as an accountancy error in that the material was not missing but never existed in the first place". And further calling "for those in authority who are responsible for public announcements on decommissioning at Dounreay to stop spinning stories after the fact that infer that highly enriched uranium, which is not accounted for nor can be found, is in any event safe". How to react? OMG! Race you to the shelter.
• After a difficult year, the 84,000 staff of Jobcentre Plus were really looking forward to a break. On any evaluation, they deserved it. Why last month, in a civil service competition, they took top prize as team of the year. After the glory comes the reward, and in their case it is to be told that the half day of flexitime credits – a present of time off in lieu they have traditionally been awarded around this time for the past 30 years – is being withdrawn, even though other staff in the Department of Work and Pensions and elsewhere will still benefit. Season\'s greetings. Well done. Now bugger off back to work.
• It\'s rough out there. This, contained within a delightful Christmas tree design, is the seasonal message on our card from the UK Border Agency. "We have a tougher enforcement regime within the UK deporting a record number of foreign national prisoners. We are committed to implementing fast and fair decisions. We have introduced ID cards for foreign nationals. The points-based system is controlling the flow of migration into the UK. We are enforcing tough penalties on those employing illegal immigrants." As for the baby Jesus? Try Yarl\'s Wood .
• Yes it\'s rough, really rough. Volatile too. And here we have in mind the designer of Duncan Hamilton\'s celebrated biography of Harold Larwood . Hats off to him. Hats off to her. Deservedly, the book was selected a few weeks back for the William Hill Sports Book of the Year award. And the organisers, while recognising Hamilton as a master wordsmith (it was his second win in three years), thought the designer should have some recognition; the presentation of a frame of the cover plus a £1,000 cheque and a £500 free bet. She did her bit. Why not? But there\'s a problem, the publishers told them. We have made her redundant. Give us her prize. We\'ll pass it on.
• Our item about Viscount Monckton (pictured), former Thatcherite adviser, now chief climate debunker for the force that is Ukip, provokes reminiscence about his days as a scribbler at the Yorkshire Post. He would arrive on occasion riding a push-bike and wearing a straw boater. Even then, he had presence. And he very obviously had breeding. For one evening, as he toiled in a junior capacity, he was instructed by the newsdesk to ring the Earl of Harewood, the Queen\'s cousin, who resides at Harewood House, a few miles outside Leeds, and seek a comment on a story. "I can\'t possibly do that," said Monckton, aghast. "He\'ll be dressing for dinner." Newsdesks. They know nothing.
• Finally, it occurs that some time ago we asked for all new modern proverbs, and made grandiose promises of champagne for the best, and so we must make good on that. So many tilted towards the brutal. "You can never do enough for a good boss – so when you find one, shoot him before he turns bad," being one sad example. But John Smith, of Sheffield, seemed to capture the difficulties that bedevil the NHS and the financial markets, not to mention the war on terror, with the observation that: "You can\'t make an omelette without breaking an egg but you can break an egg and still not make an omelette." We didn\'t expect things to get that deep. He is a worthy winner.
For more information, please visit
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/dec/17/hugh-muir-diary
