Industry | 2009.07.01
Hugh Muir's diary
I am who I am. But I\'m not who you think I am. Definitely not
It will doubtless take some time for John Bercow to sweep his new broom into the darkest recesses of the Commons, but he can do little to address the parallel difficulties in the House of Lords. There, the suspicion lingers, the shame endures. One woman peer just can\'t face it. "The other day I got into a taxi outside the Houses of Parliament and the cabbie looked at me in the mirror aggressively," she told us. "\'Ere, are you one of them MPs, or what do you call \'em, peers?\', he said. He looked as if he was about to bite my head off if I was one of "them", so I smiled sweetly and lied. \'No, I\'m just a secretary\'. \'That\'s all right then\',\' he said." They know the deception must stop. But they can\'t. Not yet.
• But then everyone is at it. Look at Europe, look to Wikileaks for advice apparently given to staff in the commission\'s trade office about how to deal with freedom of information requests. "Each official must be aware that all his/her documents, including meeting reports and emails, can potentially be disclosed. You should keep this in mind when writing such documents," it says. Draft documents "with the utmost care", avoiding "references to informal contacts, such as meals or drinks, with lobbyists. Don\'t refer to the great lunch you have had with an industry representative privately or add a PS asking if he/she would like to meet for a drink." Have a good time but don\'t tell. Or as the comedian Jackie Mason once advised: "I\'ve got mine. Get yours."
• What to do about our politicos? They misbehave. And even those who don\'t misbehave lose things. We recall Jacqui Smith and the serial offences on her watch at the Home Office. This time it\'s Lord Falconer, the former lord chancellor, who left secret documents outlining plans to regenerate Tyneside on a commuter train. No real harm done. Nothing about swimming pools and moats, but there is a principle here. This sort of thing now goes straight to the Daily Telegraph.
• Or perhaps the Sun, and what a few days it\'s been for Rebekah Wade, the editor. A wedding one day, the celebrations attended by Rupert Murdoch, Gordon Brown and David Cameron; a mighty big promotion the next. She\'s off to be chief executive of News International. And the changes might not stop there. For we understand that George Brock, the former managing editor and Saturday editor of the Times, now its international editor, has his eye on becoming head of the journalism department at the prestigious City University in London. Like all who serve the master, he will leave if Murdoch says so. Not before.
• A right ripping read is Rogue Nation, the new novel by Kirsty Wark\'s other half, the broadcaster Alan Clements. The Scots vote for independence. Drama unfolds. We are introduced to Nick Jones - a modernising Tory prime minister, who in a certain light could be David Cameron. Ross Johnston - the independence-minded SNP first minister, also known perhaps, as Alex Salmond? And Igor Churov - a Russian leader obsessed with oil and gas and power. Not unlike Vladimir Putin. And then there is Sammy Wilson, a Scottish unionist politician who can\'t help but remind one of er, Sammy Wilson, the Belfast unionist. Save for the fact that the fictional character is credible, while the real Sammy Wilson dismisses global warming as "insidious New Labour propaganda" and is a bit of an idiot. Apart from that, they could be the same.
• Finally, if you take the menacing broodiness of Mancunians Oasis and pit against it the cheeky chappiness of Suggs and the southern softy creation that is Madness, there should only be one winner. And yet in a face-off, the Mancunians appear to have blinked first. Oasis were programmed to be due on stage straight after Madness at the massive Rock en Seine festival in Paris in August, but have apparently asked to have their slot moved to another stage entirely. "I do believe they\'re scared of us," a grinning Suggs tells Le Parisien. Could it be all that jumping around and bonhomie? Sinister. Unnerving.
For more information, please visit
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/jun/24/politics-diary-hugh-muir
