Events | 2009.07.29
Hugh Muir's diary
The banks got us into this mess. The banks will get us out. But at a price
They kept their fortunes and once again they are getting their bonuses. The masters of the universe were never dead. They were merely sleeping. Yes, it\'s back to the good life – and if you want to know how good it is, consider this: the banks started the financial crisis, and then, according to figures released to troublesome MP Dai Davies, we paid them £10m "for advice on restructuring the financial sector" so we could get out of it again. A tidy £6m to Credit Suisse in the past year, another £2m to Citigroup, £1.5m to Morgan Stanley. Whichever way you look at it, that\'s sweet.
They don\'t have much material wealth on the island of Jamaica but they are proud, and they have their history. They would like to keep it. And thus there was much unhappiness at the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, which defined the Maroons there as people descended from a group of fugitive slaves in remote parts of Surinam and the West Indies. Nothing to denote any historical significance. Nothing about the famous battles, led by their very own Boudicca, Nanny Maroon. Mike Henry, transport minister in the Jamaican government and noted historian, complained. The result, an apology. "I agree that it should be revised, and in particular that it should take account of the exploits of the 18th-century Jamaican Maroons who fought two wars against the British settlers, both of which ended with treaties affirming the independence of the Maroons," writes an Oxford University Press official. "I will ensure that we make these changes at the earliest opportunity." Jamaicans will be watching.
And who can tell where the airbrush will strike next? Certainly it covers all trace of Labour\'s waifs and strays and all the wayward children. "To ask the prime minister when he last (a) met and (b) communicated with (i) Mr Derek Draper and (ii) Mr Charlie Whelan in the course of his official duties," was the question submitted by Tory MP Francis Maude. "My officials and I have meetings with a wide range of organisations and individuals on a range of subjects," said Gordon. And you Alan Johnson, what have you been up to? "I have not met Damian McBride in the course of my ministerial duties, nor have I met him personally," said the home secretary. But if it helps, we can confirm that they exist.
But then the parties all have their wayward types, and here we must return to Richard Graham, the Tory PPC for Gloucester, and his troublesome website, which graced our pages in May when, apparently deprived of sleep, he said voters "just want to see some honesty and hard work from their cunt". He told us he meant councillors. Another day, another glitch, and this time the website has voters asking of him: "Why are illegal immigrants who arrive and quickly get pregnant going into the homeless category and going to the top of the housing list as a result." At least that was what it said at the outset. One rewrite later and the sentence reappeared as: "Are there recently arrived immigrants who have been commercially smuggled in, later granted asylum because they have no papers, and then going to the top of the council housing list under the \'homeless\' category? (I hope not and I assume not but I will check with the city council)." Gremlins again, presumably. Eventually, he\'ll get it right.
Finally, it\'s all hands to the pump in London as relations between the fire service unions and the management go from bad to dire. A private firm has been employed as a backstop should the FBU resort to industrial action. That\'s provocative, says the union. Tough luck, say the ones in charge. And though Brian Coleman (pictured), the leader of the London Fire and Emergency Planning Authority, is toiling night and day to keep things from deteriorating, union activists will fan the flames by circulating a sneakily shot photograph of him fast asleep in his office. They say even a fire bell might struggle to wake him when, by contrast, they must be constantly alert; but many suspect that there is no serious point here. The fire crews just think it\'s funny.
For more information, please visit
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/jul/22/brian-coleman-asleep-office
