Training | 2009.07.29
Hugh Muir's diary
Good works are all very well, George, but we\'re nervous. Can\'t you just read the news?
Happy times for the Fairtrade movement as Cadbury\'s jumps on board, making Dairy Milk and Fruit & Nut important components both in the fight to uplift the developing world. But the news is not all good. Not at all. For we learn that our newsreader of choice, George Alagiah (pictured), has been required by the BBC functionaries to resign as patron of the Fairtrade Foundation . George is extremely upset about this and fought the decision, but to no avail. He believes his role and profile helps developing-world farmers get a decent price for their produce, but the Beeb is adamant that enough\'s enough, as the role leaves Alagiah conflicted. So Jeremy Clarkson can take the Murdoch shilling for penning articles in the Sunday Times. John Humphrys can write commentaries for YouGov. But Alagiah can\'t be a figurehead for a movement connecting British shoppers with farmers in the developing world. Oh dear. Auntie is all confused again.
Yet more anguish in Brussels as Marta Andreassen , the acclaimed uncoverer of financial wrongs at the EU, sacked by Lord Kinnock and now a Ukip MEP, is thwarted in her bid to take the vice-presidency of the budget committee. A secret ballot was held. Marta, once chief accounting officer of the European commission, came off worse. You\'re all frit that she will lift the lid, says Ukip, at once aggrieved and triumphant. No, we\'re frit that she will use the position to score cheap headlines of the "Ukip halts the gravy train" variety, say others. But what\'s done is done. Her bid for the limelight will just have to wait.
A good time was had by all at the National Liberal Club on Monday as Lib Dem heavyweights congregated to celebrate the founding of the Liberal party 150 years ago. Among those present were Charles Kennedy, Lord Steel, Bob Maclennan, party president Ros Scott and Brian Sedgemore. Slightly awkward to all there as Lord Steel recalled that he\'d "attended a centenary bash in 1976". Perhaps the party historians had got it wrong. "Well, I think it was 1976 – Jeremy Thorpe organised it, I believe – but my memory may be faulty," he told us afterwards. Still, forget the calendar, those Liberal Democrats love a party. Any excuse.
With Lord Malloch-Brown initially appearing to suggest that the war in Afghanistan is being fought with too few helicopters and then saying that, on reflection, they have enough, and Lord Foulkes upping the ante by accusing the chief of the general staff, General Sir Richard Dannatt, of giving succour to the Taliban, some are wondering what is the strategy for the conflict. What is the playbook, as the Americans say? Is it based on conflicts past? Indeed, some see the general chaos of it all as reminiscent of the closing scenes in the Marx Brothers classic Duck Soup , where Groucho as Freedonian war leader Rufus T Firefly despairs of the way in which his war is being prosecuted. "Message from the front, Sir!" says a lieutenant, fresh from the fighting. "I\'m sick of messages from the front," says Firefly. "Don\'t we ever get a message from the side?" Gordon gets messages from all directions. All bad.
Yes there are too few helicopters, some would argue, but yesterday the PM promised more will be sent by the end of the year. Last week, he and five of his security officers were spied in London\'s Hamleys, the toy shop, and they left the store with supplies of Lego. He will equip our troops in any way he can.
Finally, because we are all searching for something but few of us really know what it is, we announce the arrival of the perfect product: God Trumps. A 24-card pack – an initiative from New Humanist magazine, or as they put it "the headquarters of British blasphemy". Are you "struggling to choose the top religion?" it asks. "Can\'t decide between Bible-thumping evangelism and soaraway Scientology, Mormanism or Methodism?" We practise them all, but then we are at ease with this, our modern Britain. We limit ourselves to one a day.
For more information, please visit
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/[...]trade-cadburys-foulkes-dannatt
